To everyone: Do not judge a person’s happiness by their social media content, or what you know about their life experiences.
This is a very common mistake, and as the saying goes, it is absolutely easy to judge a book by it’s cover — which you should never do. People may look happy based on their social media posts, or what they tell others, including their friends, but people have their own problems too.
I use social media frequently. I also have multiple accounts and/or pages on each platform, depending on which one it is, and they are all used for different purposes. Some are food blogs, some are about my general blogs, some are for photography and digital art, and others are just about my experiences in general, as well as spending time with friends and/or family. I tend to post about things like food and drinks, fashion and beauty, travel, vacations and adventures. I also post my own personal opinions too, and about activism as well.
One fine Friday afternoon, I got into an argument on my phone with an ex friend of mine — who only picked up the phone while I was at the mall — at the Westfield Mall in St Lukes while I went to the mall with the intention of getting my eyebrows done, and she assumed that I was happy, because I told her I had recently returned from an overseas trip to Australia. (Long story short, the argument was over trying to resolve a broken friendship that was the result of the longest lockdown ever imposed by now ex-prime minister Jacinda Ardern, back in 2021 — due to a single case of the Delta variant of COVID-19). She incorrectly assumed that because I had nice things in life, such as designer bags, or the ability to go on adventures and partake in life experiences — such as bungy jumping, excursions to places such as Milford Sound, lunch cruises in Surfers Paradise etc.
The reality is, that’s just the nice things I want to show people about my life: my experiences, my hobbies, and the glamorous side of myself like putting on makeup and wearing expensive jewelry. That’s only the surface of my life, though. Hidden beneath it are a lot of problems I don’t usually share with people. Mental and physical health issues, school problems from my younger days, and medical conditions are just a few of those issues. I’ve also had to deal with online bullying, threats of doxxing/swatting, and even death threats ever since I first signed up for social media in 2015. My photos have even been stolen by a well-known influencer (who’s infamous for harassing others online and has trolled a deceased family in Ashburton) that happens to be the daughter of two famous Auckland-based fashion designers, and Twitter hasn’t removed them yet.
Unfortunately, I’m not the only one people assume is happy all the time. This happens to almost everyone. Everyone has problems of their own, regardless of who they are or what they do. Even adrenaline junkies like skydivers or thrill-seekers have their own medical issues. Health professionals, fashion designers, police officers, politicians, models, and other celebrities are no exception. They’ll tell you what they want you to know, but like most people, they won’t reveal the deeper issues they have or really personal things about themselves and their families.
This is the danger of social media. Everything you see makes you think someone is living a perfect life. But in reality, they don’t post their whole life online (of course, no one does), and most of the photos are filtered and edited in some way. People often use makeup or undergo skin treatments to cover up their flaws. The Kardashians are a perfect example of this, with their use of photo editing, filters, fillers, and makeup to hide imperfections. The notion of “living a perfect life” is a total lie.
Take AJ Hackett and Maia Wilson, for instance. AJ Hackett may be well known for commercializing bungy jumping, but even he has problems. The same goes for Maia Wilson, too. AJ Hackett was involved in a car accident because of a reckless driver pulling into the lane he was driving in, and he was wheelchair-bound for weeks as a result. Netball star (and coincidentally, my former classmate at MAGS) Maia Wilson struggled with body image issues and more recently, heart issues as a result of contracting COVID twice (I have had COVID once so far).
Next time you see someone having a good time at music festivals, bungy jumping, going on vacation, or indulging in the finer things in life like staying at an expensive estate or attending a glamorous event, please don’t automatically assume their lives are filled with happiness or are perfect. Nobody’s life is perfect. We are all human and we all have our ups and downs. Comparing yourself to others is harmful and dangerous. It can lower your self-esteem, lead to mental health issues like anxiety or depression, and make you feel like you’re not good enough.
Instead, please focus on the good things you have accomplished in life, set goals on what you want to achieve, and make your own bucket list of experiences to tick off. You live your own life, not anyone else’s. In short, you don’t need anyone else to tell you how to live your life, and you certainly don’t need to compare your life to others. You have flaws, I have flaws, we all have flaws. Nobody is perfect. Everyone has been through tough times, myself included, at some points in their lives, and most definitely over these few years given the COVID-19 pandemic. It is not good to judge people, especially when you don’t know the full story or the person at all.
